urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham avalanche. kody 2008-09-21T18:23:06Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:9492 2008-09-21T18:23:06Z 2008-09-21T18:23:06Z i pray for the courage<br />to cut my skin <br />deep enough to<br />make all my organs shut down<br />empty my veins<br />kill the life<br />i never wanted<br />i hate myself<br />i am unloved<br />dear god<br />do i really want to die<br />i want this to end<br />i hate everything urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:9437 2008-09-18T05:05:23Z 2008-09-18T05:05:23Z sadness engulfs the black cloud over my head<br />i've died a thousand times<br />he goes back away<br />and i go blue<br /><br />loneliness encrypts <br />gloom erupts<br />i die again<br />i don't really want to die<br />but, i've died a hundred times<br /><br />children bore<br />life made<br />the techinicalities are casualties<br />of a child's broken heart. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:9065 2008-03-17T01:43:34Z 2008-03-17T01:43:34Z Top Model Life for me is, looking up. At 20, I have my made mistakes. Running off to LA, was huge one. But, at 20, I still have time to finish college. I am not 22 fucking up like this. I can hardly belive I will be 21 this year. That means, what, no more milestones for a while. 21 is a biggie and I have to make this the best year of my life with no expectations. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:7777 2007-01-30T04:43:49Z 2007-01-30T04:43:49Z ugh. my thing? mcdonalds suckssssssss. i mean, i try not to go in there with a bad attitude but thats what it seems like i guess. i am just trying to live and be me and work and its hard. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:7480 2007-01-23T04:55:16Z 2007-01-23T04:55:16Z I am... looking on IKEA and I'm looking at a 68$ bed and I'm realizing, I am gonna be on my own. Its very scary, you know. I am finally in California. I have a job. I am dealing with it. Today I went in there and did the job and it sucks but whatever I'm gonna do it. I am gonna make my money. I am gonna get my car, I am gonna get my apartment and I am gonna be great! I finally realized that, I wanna be on my own. Its so scary but I am just at that point. I wanna work and pay my bills and my parents will be there for me when I need them. I am very exciting. I think I found a great place. My life could be changing for good. And what do I think about that? Scary, so scary. But i think I'm ready, i really do. I think. I dunno. I just wonder what its really gonna be like. c urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:6948 2006-11-29T17:18:11Z 2006-11-29T17:18:11Z life can be funny in so many ways, i have had so many knives thrown at me but, i continue to get back up and face the day. ive always felt that if someone ever hates on you or talks about you its because they are jealous. its the only logical solution, otherwise why would be make other people belive such lies. i truly belive these 'gossipers' or 'liers' will one day be punished and karma will eventually get back with them. i have so man shadows in my past that i am still sad over to this day. guys i wish i would of done things differently with, things i could of done different. but i have read that you cannot change the past, so don't dwell on it. and i belive that, though it is hard sometimes. but, above everything in this life, i belive God does everything for his reason. anything that has happend to me in this life, it is something god felt i needed to go through. sometimes i may cry or disagree but, he is the ruler almight and will guide me in the direction i am suppose to go in. sometimes it is hard, belive me. to go through these dark and hard things in life and just have to pull through it. just to be faced with these awful and daunting things and just have to survive. life can seem like a perilous journal at times, a sick joke that will never end. i wonder everyday, why i am being put through these things, what makes me deserve such things. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:6679 2006-11-07T19:38:23Z 2006-11-07T19:38:23Z life remains the same. i quit the job and i feel bad but, damn. i am no mexican slave. so still in vermont :( going to NYC the weekend after next. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:5112 2005-04-11T02:32:22Z 2005-04-11T02:32:22Z <div align="center"><a href="http://www.quizdiva.com/parishiltonquiz.html"><img src="http://www.quizdiva.net/fashion-model-paris-hilton.jpg" alt="fashion model paris hilton" width="150" height="150" border="0"></a><br /><br><br><br /><h2>You are Fashion Model Paris Hilton!</h2><br />In your circle of friends, you're the pretty one<br><br />(Even if you are a guy! - think, metrosexul)<br><br />And you usually surround yourself with the beautiful people<br><br />Except for your fat friends, who are they to make you look extra thin :-)<br /><br><br><br /><a href="http://www.quizdiva.com/parishiltonquiz.html"><font size="+1"><b>Which Paris Hilton Are You?</b></font></a><br /><br><b><a href="http://www.quizdiva.com/">More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva</a></b></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chatham:4808 2005-04-10T21:46:33Z 2005-04-10T23:24:34Z ying yang twins - salt shaker <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v695/kodyone/ep34FriendsOnlybyAkaleia.jpg" alt="carrie">